Monday, April 14, 2008

Falling Down

(If you're looking for the account of my trip to Tijuana, that can be found here.)

I don't like admitting defeat. Even when I know I'm wrong, even when I know that I've dug myself into a hole that's too deep to get out of, I hate giving up. But this week, I had to do just that. I had to look at myself and face the fact that this time, I failed.

This blog is not a place that I want to whine about my life. It is not a diary of my personal problems. This last week has been a continuation of what is apparently the lesson I'm supposed to be learning this year—how to be humble. It's been painful and frustrating and confusing and more emotional than I can really explain. In the midst of it all, though, I have had friends surrounding me, reminding me of the truth that I can preach to others (see this post) but struggle to take to heart for myself: the fact that I fail sometimes does not make me a failure. It makes me human. Saying that won't get me out of this particular hole that I've dug for myself, but it might help me find the motivation to start climbing.

We All Fall—Superchick

We all fall
We all let ourselves down
Sometimes there's nothing left but to live with what's been done
And know you're not the only one
Who falls

We all fail
We all let someone down
Sometimes there's thing left but to promise to ourselves
That next time we won't be the one
To fail

I want to tell you you can go on
That beginnings come from ends
I still believe in you
And so does God
He's the one who still believes in those who fail
He's the one who still believes in us who fall